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Aspire not to have more but to be more.  A simple yet powerful message. Ponder on it.

 

 

If you have some good jokes, kindly go here and upload

 

 

SANTA SINGH INTERVIEW

 

Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.

Santa Singh: Bad

 

Interviewer: Come.

Santa Singh: Go.

 

Interviwer: UG LY ?

Santa Singh: PICHLY!!!!

 

Interviewer: Shut Up.

Santa Singh: Keep Talking.

 

Interviewer: Get Out.

Santa Singh:Come In.

 

Interviewer: Oh my GOD.

Santa Singh: Oh your DEVIL.

 

Interviewer: You are rejected.

Santa Singh I am selected.

 

 

INDIAN HELL

 

An indian dies and goes to Hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an houur. Thenthey lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

 

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out USA as well as Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as German hell.

 

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there a very long line of people waiting to get in.  Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"

 

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in whips you for the rest of the day."

 

But that is exactly the same as all the other hels - why are there so many people waiting to get in?  "Because maintenance is so bad<that> the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is former Government servant, so he comes in, sign the register and then goes to the cafeteria..."

 

 

6 PM Lengthy Flight With Air Tanzania ......


>
> Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your
> captain VUTAKAMBA. On
> behalf of Air Tanzania Ltd, I'm welcoming both seated
> and standing
> passengers on board of Air Tanzania Boeing 737. We apologize for the
> six-hour delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and
> some bad traffic from Ilala to the Airport, Dala Dala's
> are all full in the morning hours and traffic not moving.
>
> This is flight 712 From Dar es Salaam to Mwanza. Landing there is not
> guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the Lake Zone.
> And, if luck is
> in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
>
> Air Tanzania has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our
> safety standards
> are so high, that even pick-pockets, snatchers and bandits
> are afraid to fly
> with us!
>
> It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this
> year,over 30% of our
> passengers have reached their destination
>
> If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request,
> we can arrange
> to turn them off!
>
> To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we
> serve
> complimentary KONYAGI and Our favorite local brew MNAZI,
> you can also get
> GONGO if you promise not to drink more than half a bottle.
> Live goats are not allowed in the cabin
>
> For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only
> airline who can help
> you find out if there is God!
>
> We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie
> will not be shown as
> we could not record it from the ITV due to UEFA Champions
> League live
> broadcasting. However, we have bought 10 copies of SANI
> Magazines and 12
> copies of KASHESHE to supplement the movie.
>
> There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke U
> see in the cabin
> is only the early warning system on the engines telling us
> to slow down or
> our stewards might be frying MANDAZIS  for the cockpit
> crews including
> myself
>
> In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as
> close as possible
> for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do
> let us know. Our
> enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the
> landmark!
> Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for
> take-off and
> fasten your seat belt. For those of you who can't find
> a seat-belt, kindly
> fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for
> those of you who
> can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with
> a stewardess who
> will explain how to fasten yourself on the overhead
> lockers." Lunch will only be available on request and
> incase of excessive hunger, you may secretly
> approach Zinduna Makongoro for a tip.
>
> "Thanking you all for choosing Air-Tanzania to fly for
> the first and
> probably the last time and for Muslims to recite the Holy
> quran during
> the whole length of the flight for their own
> safety

 

 

 

 

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